Since my subordinates are currently too busy masturbating
or freezing to death in their Alaskan igloo, today I will be doing
another writeup on why I hate you so much, you know, something else
to have tattoed to your forehead so you can learn how to be a good
person again.
BEING TRENDY IS DUMB
"Oh, But Matt, how can I be liked by my zombie-like
horde of friends without mimmiking their every move?"
Look at it from another angle, my dear.
How do these gentlemen look to you?
A: Gay
B: All the same
C: Autistic
D: Trendy
E: All of the above
Pencils down, answer is E.
Trendiness is uniformity, trendiness is mimicery, trendiness is dumb.
"Oh, sir, but I look NOTHING like those men! My group of hollister-shopping
ipod-listening mall walkers have much more originality than those hooligans!"
Clearly, sir, your IQ is far too low to understand even your own absent intelligence.
Come back and ask me again once you learn to put your shirt on all the way without help.
I'm done talking about what you WEAR, so I'm gonna move to more general trends.
How about the stuff you all insert into your mouths?
No, I'm not talking about horsecock, that's an issue for another article.
I'm talking about the chows, the junk you eat.
You guys spend like twenty bucks on junk from this "whole foods" market.
(Which isn't enough for even a whole meal at that joint.)
Why do you do it?
Because your friends are doing it.
What you don't realize is, that you are probably aged 14-25, and you have the
fastest metabolism you will ever have in your life, so while you could be eating
food that is terrible for your body and slowly kills you.
But it's fucking delicious.
Instead you waste the only time in your life that this shit won't kill you eating...
"Organic Beets" placed on a shelf by a fat-lipped asian woman in the whole foods market.
I'm no jew, but I would rather spend $0.79 on a pound of delicious niggerchow that slowly kills me
Than $20 on some organic beets cleaning out my colon.
Who told those beets they have any business cleaning my damn colon?
If I wanna clean my colon, I'll have a scrubbing bubbles enema, not eat beets.
Also, stop texting.
It's dumb.
