Okay, Let's get this out of the way, I fucking hate you.
There, I said it, I hate you, you fucking cockfaced sheep.
There, I feel so much lighter now.
Today, I will be talking about something alot of you damn kids do to look "cool" for your friends.
I don't even get what's the deal with you damn kids. You spend hundreds
of your dollars on this crap, but why?
I'm here to counterestablish any rhyme or reason as to the afforementioned.
YOUR EXCUSE I: "It's funnn, man!"
I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was fun.
That's what you do, and you fucking know it. These are your magical journeys, all had on Pete's couch.
Now, unless you're cooped up in Alaska with no living contact but bears like my partner, Derik,
I'm sure you can find something even slightly more amusing than sitting down, coughing your lungs up, fucktarded for 10 hours.
Even on a personal level, lets see two people performing activites, and see who is having more fun.
Let's start with this man.
Smiling, having a wonderful time piloting that aircraft, and what is more badass than piloting an aircraft while smiling?
Nothing, thats what, you tit.
Now, a man performing a different activity, smoking weed.
Let's see here... He's sitting down, nice, inhaling a bitter, disgusting agent, not bad, not bad,
hmmmm, he's dumb as a rock, and even more dumb due to the chemical influence of tetrahydrocannabinol yeah,
what else.... what else is he doing that might be fun...
Jack shit.
That's the thing, what do you do when you get high?
Nothing, you sit there, on pete's couch, wasting space. You're worse than mexicans.
YOUR EXCUSE II:"I'm making a difference."
(or something to that degree of pretentiousness)
When presented with this arguement, I am filled so much with a burning,
primal rage, that it's amazing I haven't bitten your head off by now.
REALITY
Pot doesnt do jack but make you even dumber than you were beforehand for a few hours.
The only thing you are making a difference is would be the depletion
of your own credibility and the pockets of whatever mexican drug runner your shit is coming from filling up.
Literally, the most remarkable thing to ever come about from
someone being high was them discovering that they could suck their own dick.
Think about it, what real thing have you ever accomplished while high?
Did you cure cancer?
No.
Did you totaly pwn the japs in world war 2?
No.
Did you win the Tour De France repeatedly even with one testicle?
No.
Did you conquer the world?
No.
Did you write the US constitution?
No.
Did you invent peanut butter?
No.
Were you a total fag and a liability to everyone around you?
Yes, You were.
Did you write this article?
Fuck you, I did.
