I'm Derik, Matt's unpaid, unlicensed lawyer.
The statements he made in the first article are highly unscreened and no way filtered. If a reader is insulted by its content, I would suggest a long, retrospective walk off a short pier. Maybe then you'll feel better about yourself.
Now that all legal gristle is out of the way, let's move on to the meatier part of this article.
I assume that because you are reading this, you must be connected to the Internet. YOU FOOL! You have already made your first mistake.
The Internet is a very silly place. Oh sure, you're here for networking. Yes, the Internet is a very speedy and efficient method of communication. It most certainly IS a step up from sending well-trained carrier pidgeons(which happen to be delicious) around the globe to get a message to someone that needs to read it.
That is not the part of the Internet I am lamenting. That which I hate should sound very familiar to you: MySpace.
MySpace has got to be the greatest piece of ever-loving crap I've ever experienced. It's loaded with self-hating/loving dorks who assume that if they use some creative camera angle for their profile photo, other users will flood them with sympathy/praise.
In addition to this assumption being exceptionally silly, it is false.
When one looks at the profile customization features, MySpace's shortcomings really shine. Through MySpace's profile creation options, anyone from any location in the world(given that they're wealthy enough to use the bloody Internet) can BECOME anyone ELSE from any location in the world. It truly is amazing.
Here's an example.
This is Meseret.
He is Ethiopian. Ignore the fact that Ethiopians really can't use the Internet. Let's just assume Meseret is able to connect to the Internet by writing binary on old McDonalds french fries boxes and sending it across the ocean via bottle to someone with a computer.
Meseret is unhappy with his image. He is unhappy with his weight. He is unhappy with his character. He wishes he could fly off to some distant land and become SOMEONE ELSE. Well, this little fly-ridden boy is in luck, because MySpace allows just that.
No longer is Meseret Meseret. Meseret is now xXsUpAfLy6969Xx.
No longer is Meseret thirty pounds. Meseret is now a clean 150. No longer is Meseret black. He is now white. No longer is Meseret a raging homosexual. Meseret is now heterosexual and "lovin' the ladies like a fat man loves Hostess". No longer is Meseret insecure and quiet. Meseret is now outgoing and is never afraid to strike conversation or argument. No longer is Meseret located in Ethiopia. Meseret is now advertised as living in Orlando, Florida.
It's not that hard, is it? Once you put something like the Internet between people, communication is degraded from communication to information. How is information different from communication? Information is not always fact. Information is RARELY fact. Now that our little friend Meseret has established a link to the Internet, he is free to say or be whatever he wants without repercussions. Anyone Meseret insults, belittles, or verbally bullies has no way of kicking his ass, because they are in a different state or country and a whole different world altogether.
Idiots create MySpace profiles to become somebody who they aren't because they are incapable of being anything worth looking at in real life.
To do something like that seems foolproof until you piss off the wrong forumer and end up getting sleuth'd, dragged into the street, and shot.
Don't be somebody you're not. Or I'll kick your ass.
